Well, up... ish. I'm working on it, dammit! Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Syd Lexia on Crystalis It is the 20th anniversary of End DAY, so let's speak about Crystalis. This article remains to be below development.

Christmas at Kris Lexias: Beauty and the Beast Style Kris Lexia reviews Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas WARNING: This text contains extended discussion about massive organs.

Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda Syd pontificates on the primary Legend of Zelda game, about nothing particularly. In loving reminiscence of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014.

Ten Years: A Retrospective In honor of the site's tenth anniversary, here is a 50,000 word retrospective. That, or it's a Kris Lexia article about Neopets toys from McDonalds.

Kris Lexia's Snackoween Spooktacular And now for one thing completely totally different, here is Syd's sister eating Halloween-themed foods. Also featured inside: ghosts. (Probably not.)

Syd Lexia on Abadox Abadox is the story of a design workforce's bizarre eye fetish. This is not a joke. Also featured inside: ghosts.

Pong: Violent, Sexist, and Vile Sexism in video video games is quite the new-button problem. We must battle it. One drawback: how do you battle a video recreation tradition that is nearly as old as video video games themselves?

Bart's Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius Bart's Nightmare is, if nothing else, a reasonably pretty game. To seek out out if it is nothing else, try reading this review by Valdronius.

Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong There are things you recognize that aren't as known as you recognize them to be. Mega Man's adventures on the NES will educate you this. Question Everything.

Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins In line with the Catholic Church, there are Seven Deadly Sins that one can commit. Super Mario, usually cited as a paragon of virtue, is responsible of all of them.

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NES Launch '85: A Have a look at The primary Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System The Nintendo Entertainment System simply turned 25 years outdated. In celebration of this tremendous anniversary, here is a glance back at the system's launch games.

DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We know It's A large Fucking Lie You most likely remember Capcom's DuckTales sport for the NES as being really enjoyable and pretty easy. Well, it wasn't. It was unimaginable. Also: reality is a lie.

Syd Lexia vs. The Addams Family Cereal This article is devoted to the dearly departed Raul Julia, who performed Gomez in the one two Addams Family motion pictures that matter. Hopefully I'll be seeing him quickly.

Syd Lexia vs. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal Jesus Christ. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal. Seriously? I actually don't need to eat this.

Syd Lexia vs. Slimer And The actual Ghostbusters Cereal When I'm consuming expired cereal, in your neighborhood... who ya gonna call? THE PARAMEDICS!

Syd Lexia vs. Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal Hey, I wager you won't dare me to eat some cereal from 1990. Go forward, dare me. Come on! Whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway.

10 Things On The NES That I actually Didn't Must See Because Ryan's bare ass was one bare dude ass too many. WARNING: May comprise cat anus.

The a hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever You've waited patiently for the subsequent epic checklist from SydLexia.com. Finally, right here it is. The one hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever!!!

His Name Is Rob Paulsen. Your favorite cartoon characters can not speak for themselves. They're voiced by actual individuals with real names. The man who voiced Yakko Warner has a reputation. His title is Robert Paulsen.

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Emily! Three years, child! Your parents said we would by no means make it, however we did it! WE FUCKING DID IT! Just kidding. This is Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 7.

Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 6 Just as Are You Afraid of the Dark? returned after a hiatus in 1999, Lessons Learned has returned after a hiatus in 2009. Get prepared for the learniest classes you may ever learn. Also INSIDE: Elisha Cuthbert eating a sandwich.

Metroid: A Blind Run By Valdronius Up till lately, Valdronius had never performed the unique Metroid. We can both kill him, or examine his blind run of the game. I like Valdronius, so why do not we no less than give the non-murder choice a chance?

Syd Lexia on All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. For his 100th article, Syd critiques a uncommon Mario title that was designed as a promotional merchandise for a Japanese radio program. In this game, Mario rescues All Night Nippon DJs from King Koopa, with a bit of assist from his trusty Star of David. No, critically.

A Salute To PrintMaster Plus 2.Zero Back in the great outdated days, print shop applications have been leading edge expertise. These days, you have to be borderline retarded to buy one. This text is about the nice old days.

Come To The Dark Side, Now we have Cookies. On this exercise, I eat a box of Star Wars Cookies from 1983 and see what happens. Three years later, I die of cancer. Scientists attribute my dying to "being a whole fucking idiot".

Contra: The Man's Guide To Fucking Like A Porn Star What better approach to observe Valdronius than with an article evaluating Contra to sexual intercourse? This analogy is not at all obtuse. That is the greatest factor I have ever written.

Impossible Mission: The Story Of A Research Paper In accordance with Valdronius, enjoying the classic Commodore sixty four game Impossible Mission is quite a bit like writing a research paper. Personally, I believe him. Check it out.

Who Watches The Watchmen? This is either a evaluation of the best graphic novel ever written, or a overview of some Game & Watch games. Either method, some of you may be dissatisfied.

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